In twenty five years of marriage to a second generation real estate man, I can tell you I’ve heard many tales of quirky happenings during showings and closings. My husband, Tim, is at it again with his recollection of this preview on a day last July. Hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed hearing it. –Leslieby Tim Moore, Guest Blogger
Polistes carolinus! Are you scared yet? No? You should be. RED WASPS! Tiny little winged creatures who love to build nests under door jams to protect their colony from bad weather. Non-aggressive insects until their little “paper” nest is disturbed, at which time these creatures become kamikaze homeland defense machines striking terror into the veins of any human to be on the receiving end of their attack.
I had the misfortune of accidentally disturbing a rather large nest while showing a Martin, TN property to a lovely family of four last summer. While innocently unlocking the door to a vacant house, I noticed a light fluttering feeling on the back of my neck and reached up to see what it was. Suddenly, a sharp pain ran through the skin on the back of my neck causing my primal instinctive alarm system to take complete control of my body. My senses knew a wasp attack was underway and initiated an automatic defense response without any conscious effort on my part.
Flailing my arms and hands about my head and neck, I leapt from the front porch and ran at full speed, all the while screaming at the top of my lungs. This instinctive evasive maneuver helped to minimize the inevitable physical damage and kept the number of stings to a minimum of six. Yes, six highly painful wasp stings from a single attack. Two on the back of the neck, three on the back and one on the arm.
All efforts to maintain dignity and professionalism in the face of danger, and in the presence of my lovely family, had totally disappeared. After all, how can you not look insanely silly running and screaming across the front yard while beating yourself about the head and neck? However, I did manage to attract all of the attacking beasts away from my buyers who, after all the excitement, did show some sympathy and managed not to burst out laughing.
Of course, it was the mom who asked, with true concern in her voice, if I was allergic to wasp stings? Trying to make a little humor out the situation I replied “I don’t know. Do you know CPR?”
This rather classy and attractive mom, who I think was probably internally panicking over images of mouth- to-mouth resuscitation with a male Realtor® whom she had just met, quickly held up her cell phone and said, “I know 911.”